it's not like i wanted to love you.
its just that i automatically did.
but as days go by, i lose that love slowly. as it seeps from the deepest crevices from my heart, i don't try and stop it. i just let it go, flow, staining everything in its path. small trails of love surround my faint footsteps.
it's not that fun living in memories. but it seems like i can't seem to form new ones, not quite yet. i don't want to work for it anymore. so i let things happen. and i let things get out of hand before i say stop. i don't want them to feel like i am leading them to a candyland. because i'm not that sweet. and i'm not that oblivious. i know when their eyes follow me down, and i let them. because for a moment, i grip so hard to control. i shake them around a bit, then i let them go, i let them fall.
and then i complain when they can't climb back up.
i'm such a bitch sometimes. babybaby.
